I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
