the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
