We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
