I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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