my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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