He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
