OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
