so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
try to milk me bitch
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
