In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
