It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
