I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
