giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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