dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
