Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
