i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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