So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She bit a glass in half.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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