Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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