that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
