...so i touched it.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
