I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
