Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
