one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
