I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
