i permit you to call me
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
