She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
