Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
