Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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