You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
