guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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