yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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