He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
