so explain again why im purple
no
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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