You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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