on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Pooping to opera.
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