Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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