Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
