this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
