Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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