Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
