I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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