i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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