You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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