so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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