Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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