About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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