i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
