i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
she looked like the before picture.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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