I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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