i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
