at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
