dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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