: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I think I sprained my soul last night
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
