I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
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